I have always been a very shy and quiet person. Conflict makes being shy and quiet harder. Conflict is the interference between two or more interdependent individuals or groups of people who perceive incompatible goals, values, or expectations in attaining all odds (Martin & Nakayama, pg. 444, 2018). How we respond to conflict is what matters.
As I grew up and I started to see I was way to shy I started to handle situations better. I understand now that most of my conflict is cognitive conflict. Cognitive conflict describes a situation in which two or more people become aware that their processes or perceptions are incongruent (Martin & Nakayama, pg. 449, 2018). I find it interesting that when we are younger, we really do not pay attention to our conflict. We just have it and most times we struggle with knowing how to deal with it.
I find that I am an emotional person. I have always been emotional, I wear my heart on my sleeve and that will probably never change. What I come to notice is that I start with my emotions. By being more expressive, I have a more dynamic style of dealing with conflict. A dynamic style uses an indirect style of communicating along with a more emotionally intense expressiveness (Martin & Nakayama, pg. 453, 2018). Once I have a chance to calm down, I fully understand that situation. Once I have understood the situation I am able to sit down and talk out the situation. I really like to talk the situation out, so that I can learn from it and grow.
I don’t really think that someone just has one type of style with dealing with conflict. I think sometimes it depends on who we are in conflict with and what the situation is. Different situations affect us differently. I know that I am more emotional with people I know, than with people I do not know. For Instance, if I am in conflict with co-workers, I use more a discussion style. Discussion style is combines the direct and emotional restrained approaches (Martin & Nakayama, pg. 453, 2018). Different situations and conflict cause for different styles to eliminating conflict. I remain more calm and composed when in the workplace. While my job is important to me, I am not as emotional about it. I tend to check my emotions at the door and stay composed. I like to be as professional as possible.
References
Martin, J. A., & Nakayama, T. K. (2018). Intercultural Communication in Contexts (7th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
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